Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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