At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
