Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
