do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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