he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
