Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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