Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
