I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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