What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
