Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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