Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
