I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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