So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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