At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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