I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
