wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I will be naked everywhere
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
