Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
