Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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