Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
