carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
