I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
We have started to decorate penises.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
