Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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