Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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