so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
