and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
