I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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