Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
