everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
