dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
he fucked my hip out of place.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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