so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
