I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
