Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
