Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
