im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
