the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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