How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
