if you like me you must not know who I am
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
