Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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