OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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