i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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