this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
