I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Say something about gay babies.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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