i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
