is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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