i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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