wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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