No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
