ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
