Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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