Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
