In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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