I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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