whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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