I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
