Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
