the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
