just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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