Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
