They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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