pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
