Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
